S4E29 Youth vs. Youthfulness

We explore the difference between youth as a chronological stage and youthfulness as a mindset that can be cultivated throughout life, examining how these concepts influence our approach to aging and personal growth.

• Youth is a developmental stage where we test boundaries and build character through experiences
• The natural risk-taking of youth serves an important purpose in development
• Social media has complicated modern youth by making information about risks more accessible
• As we age, increased caution comes naturally from accumulated life experiences
• Youthfulness is similar to "beginner's mind" but adds playfulness and spirited engagement
• Maintaining youthfulness paradoxically requires accepting the aging process
• Physical movement is essential for preserving a youthful spirit at any age
• Finding balance between acceptance of limitations and continued engagement with life

Transcript

Youth is Wasted on the Young

Speaker 1 0:01

pete . So we're going to talk about something today that neither you and I are anymore , which is which is , which is youth . We're not . We're not well , but we are , but I will say that we are youthful . I would you are no , you are too so what do they say ? Youth is wasted on the young oh yeah , I think that is the phrase yeah yeah or yeah , youth is exactly like . Yeah , so we want to talk about youth because , you know , I think um the concept of youth gets twisted a lot , you know and especially like that .

Speaker 1 0:33

So I I'm also bringing in the word youthful , because they're different things . So you know , we , we all experience youth , right , it's , it's chronological , right , it's part of development , it's when , when we're younger , you know , you know , to the to that quote like youth is uh wasted on the young I don't know , what do you ? What do you think about that stage development your own life , like I don't know . Patients you work with , you work with a lot of college students like yeah yeah , well , I mean youth .

Speaker 2 0:57

So the college students , you know they do stupid things , which is like part of being youthful , like you and I , part part of what , uh the impetus for us doing this . I was talking about how I would , you know , go to London for the weekend or , you know , drive across , uh , paris and Germany to go take a boat to Sweden , uh with with Cecilia , and it was like , you know , I didn't even think twice about it and it safe .

Speaker 1 1:22

You know , right , it's like . It's also like you know , I always say it is , but it's an important part of development , like I , I still like , you know my friends from college , for example , uh , it's like we still like reminisce about , like the .

Speaker 2 1:35

Uh , you know I have to put an explicit label , like the dumb shit you do with your friends when you're young , totally yeah , but it's great like it's great with your friends you have to do that dumb shit because that's what builds character , and so , being in the mental health field , working with that population , a lot of times people are like , oh , this is pathological or a diagnosis . I'm like , no , it's not , it's just developmental . They're like , oh , they're using drugs . Good , I don't endorse that . So by no means am I saying I endorse that . However Sure , sure , and don't like endorse that .

Speaker 1 2:03

So by no means am I saying I endorse that , However sure , and it's like going out and testing what it's like to be in the world and without without as much you know , like without as developed a brain as you're saying . That's one part of it , but it's also like less experienced , like a lot of people I work with . You know , when they get it , I would say probably starting in their thirties people will say why am I more afraid of fill in the blank thing ?

Speaker 1 2:23

And I said honestly , it's just like you've been on the planet longer , so you've heard more stories , you know more about danger of things , and so when you're younger there's like a bit of a blindness to it .

Speaker 2 2:33

But it helps . So how is social , so social media , is really impacting this then ? Because the information is like everywhere and it stays there . So what do you think about that ?

Speaker 1 2:48

Oh , I think it makes it . I mean that's like another episode . I mean I think it makes it infinitely worse because it's like you're you're more aware of of it . Statistically , things seem bigger than they are what would wait ?

Speaker 2 2:53

what was your youth like ? Like so you know , like you're out in the streets and stuff like that , not in that kind of way , but like even when I was , like in high , like when I was

Childhood Memories and the Bunny Ears

Speaker 2 3:02

in high school or in college . Like primary secondary school , Like when you're playing kickball on the street yeah .

Speaker 1 3:10

We actually . I mean this is like I think it's very dorky , cute .

Speaker 1 3:15

In my neighborhood where I grew up , it's a lot of kids we would all ride bikes in this one part across the street and I mean , my mom would say that she , she liked there was . There was kind of it's like a long , long street with a cul-de-sac , but where our house was , she kind of watched through the window and see if we would come back and forth . And this is a true story . The neighborhood kids we called ourselves the bunny ears . Anyway , it was like every day after school and we did it for years . It was super fun .

Speaker 2 3:50

And just bunny ear , the bunny ear bike gang . I love that .

Speaker 1 3:53

I haven't thought about that in a long time . Actually , it's funny .

Speaker 2 3:55

You're welcome .

Speaker 1 3:56

Yeah , but it was like doing it . And that's like as an elementary school kid you know of like you know of like .

Speaker 2 4:03

and then in high school , what were you ? What were you doing Cause I'm going to get the West coast perspective on this what were you doing in high ?

Speaker 1 4:06

school . Well , it's kind of civil college . I mean , you know , I grew up at the beach and so it was a lot of um .

Speaker 2 4:10

I mean , just certainly I was like going to parties and things like that , you know , and we spent a lot of time at the a lot of time at the beach surfing or just hanging out like , just hanging out like beach bonfires are a big thing , and what stupid shit would people do , not you , I know , but I think this is the things that teenagers do .

Speaker 1 4:28

I mean it's like you know , in high school . I mean and I was um , you know , I've always been a pretty responsible kid , so you know by a rule follower a rule follower , I mean so , but but you know , there's things where it's like you're going out , you're like saying you're doing one thing

High School Adventures and Testing Boundaries

Speaker 1 4:43

and you're doing another .

Speaker 2 4:44

No , you didn't . Yeah , that kind of stuff , but like nothing you know you would be like I'm going to go to place a but really go to place B .

Speaker 1 4:52

Sure yeah love that it's your testing . It's like what about you I ?

Speaker 2 5:00

for listeners . That's because I was always doing that . I mean I was , you know , I one time I got caught like stealing like a , like a butterfinger from some store . I mean you want to talk like I think this is what just makes me so real with a lot of like the adolescents I work with . You know where I'm just like , yeah , this is what you do , so , okay , uh , primaries , all sports . So I think we probably had a bunny or bike gang too , ish , but we had . I had a batting cage in my backyard and I know so , like the neighborhood kids would do .

Speaker 2 5:27

That was mostly for my two older brothers , because I didn't love baseball , uh , but that was so breaks my heart , but go on . I know I know , I know , and then , like you'd play like manhunt in the neighborhood , you know where did you ever play manhunt on the west coast ? Oh my god I saw on your face you didn't know what it was so it's like a .

Speaker 2 5:44

It's like a evolved hide and seek , but it's like in like the whole neighborhood and you're running like between the streets that catch people it's what's kind of actually honest .

Speaker 1 5:54

It's not unlike my little bike gang .

Speaker 2 5:55

It's the same idea in the dark no , we would do well .

Speaker 1 5:58

Yeah , I guess we'd have to come home by dark , but but it's . But I hear you say if it's the same of like catching each other and like chasing and you know and then in high school , um , all sports , like I was really started to get into swimming .

Speaker 2 6:09

But I will say the dumb shit part was I think this was high school , maybe just before when my parents divorced , my house became the place that people came to Because my mom was working and dad wasn't there . So it was like we had water fights inside my house Inside yes , you heard that right . I remember that I was just like who could do this ? If I had any kids doing that in my house today , I would murder somebody . But I guess my mom's a saint I don't know , she dealt with it somehow , but uh yeah but anyway .

Speaker 2 6:41

So as an adult , these things change . So what would you like ? How do you think about that clinically ? Or if you have some , like you talked about the patient who was saying like why is this happening ? You know , how do you get people to maybe do more adventurous things ?

Speaker 1 6:55

well , I think that's a that's a really good question . I think this

The Value of Youthfulness vs Youth

Speaker 1 6:58

is where maybe we can talk about like connecting to youthfulness oh , you know , versus youth .

Speaker 2 7:03

Yeah , it's like this youthfulness there's .

Speaker 1 7:07

It's like to be honest . I actually have never thought about this way until I'm saying it right now .

Speaker 1 7:10

Um , it's very like akin to beginner's mind which is you know for listeners , if you haven't heard us talk about it before , it's a mindfulness concept where you're coming to each moment as if it's the first time and children and animals are very good at beginner's mind , adults not so much for some of these reasons that we're talking about , but I think youthfulness , there's a beginner's mind quality , but there's actually also a spirit of like , playfulness and fun . And you know , youthfulness is not , um , it doesn't there . It's kind of . Again , I would say it's actually a value . I would actually argue because you can connect to youthfulness at at any age , right , it's like . So I think that if you value that and you're practicing a willingness to keep exploring or trying things , even when you feel afraid , right , so that's a big thing with values in general right , like you know it's taking a risk and trying to move your life forward in whatever way .

Speaker 1 8:03

You know that that may be . Um , yeah , I think that's , that's part of it , like I , you know , I actually , to be honest , like I never , I never relate to people , um , I never relate to the concept when people say like that are our age , for example , and they say , like I feel so old you know , and I'll say I don't .

Speaker 1 8:23

It's like and I mean it not in the way that I don't feel my age , that I feel I like . I like being the age that I was like . I like the older , I like my experience in life more and more with age .

Speaker 1 8:35

Like you , know it's like you feel more yourself , more you have more experience , more knowledge , whatever more comfort with oneself . But I think it's because , for me , youthfulness is really important . So even if things are different or harder , I don't know , it's just an interesting thing for me . I had a conversation with somebody about that , with someone the other day .

Speaker 2 8:57

Yeah , I think I feel that . I mean , when you said that I kind of a little like surprised because I do think I feel old , because I , I think , but I think that's also part of like a little bit of burnout .

Speaker 1 9:05

You know , like I think I'm at sure , like you know , drag down , yeah , drag down like which disconnects us from youthfulness . It does , yeah it's not energizing .

Speaker 2 9:14

So making sure that you do take a moment to like re-energize , and because I that's always what I joke about , like when I'm at the gym , I'm like I'm not the 18 year old that I sometimes have in my brain . Still , you know .

Speaker 1 9:25

Sure , well sure . It's like you've got to meet yourself where you're at , like you know . Obviously , aging is aging is real right , they have to . They like they want to look the way that they did when they're 18 . They want their body to function

Aging Gracefully with a Youthful Spirit

Speaker 1 9:44

.

Speaker 2 9:44

It's like so aesthetic , like some aesthetic intervention , yeah , or like even functional .

Speaker 1 9:47

You say it's like you can't like . At some point you're like my body has more wear and tear on it than it did when I was at right , and remembering that , connecting to like that experience , that spirit of youthfulness it's about I don't know . For me it's just like about energy and presence and feeling like yourself and playfulness , and I think that like shines , like , I'm sure , everybody I certainly could think of people like this , Everybody probably knows like a very elderly person .

Speaker 2 10:19

Yeah .

Speaker 1 10:20

Maybe somebody like in their eighties , nineties , maybe a hundred plus , who've , who's got a youthful ?

Speaker 2 10:25

energy . Yeah , yeah , and really trying to tap into that Cause I think what I hear you saying is that we all could have that .

Speaker 1 10:31

Yes .

Speaker 2 10:32

You just have to tap into it .

Speaker 1 10:34

Yeah , and you have to , and I think it also again , it's very paradoxical , as the stuff always is right . It requires also meeting yourself where you're at . It's like letting go of a way something is supposed to be . It's like you know as our bodies change you know , like the way we feel , the way we look , you know , that's like you just brought the Eastern part into it , so thank you for that yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2 11:01

It is about letting go of what you were .

Speaker 1 11:03

Because I'll just say my dad is aging horribly and not from a physical perspective . He's probably not going to be listening to this .

Speaker 2 11:09

I would say it's no , because I've had the conversation with him . It's like he's not accepting the aging process , which is like , you have to create the youthfulness . Like you're not all of a sudden , you know he's like I don't know I'm so tired . I'm like like because you just mowed the lawn , you know , hung some lights and did like four of the things like that's not what people in their 70s do like . If you did one of those things .

Speaker 1 11:27

That's cool , well , and it's also like making sure that you're finding things that , if we look again , some of the balance , like you , I mean I'm glad here he's moving his body right like that's .

Speaker 1 11:34

That's exactly this like you know um , I mean I , my grandfather , was 101 and he and he's literally , um , he literally said recently he went , I mean he stopped golfing , he golfed until he was 99 , like I mean it's like amazing he's got a golfing sometimes a week till he's 99 . And then recently he said I need to get back to the gym yeah , and he I was like yeah , good grandpa . Yeah , it was like amazing you know so moving is moving .

Speaker 1 12:00

Your body is a part of it , but I think , um , it's also just saying like I don't know , it doesn't have , you're not trying to push yourself . It's like when you were , when you were 20 . Yeah , yeah , and knowing the of limits you're gonna wait , are you gonna ?

Speaker 2 12:16

you're gonna go to the gym until like what ? 99 yeah , for sure okay , I think you would actually some yoga . I guess you're doing yoga until I do Pilates now , but you know oh , for real , yeah , oh , that's so la , yeah , yeah , so what we should have ?

Speaker 1 12:28

her on . I , the one I do is very mindful space anyway oh , I love it .

Speaker 2 12:33

Okay , it's about longevity .

Speaker 1 12:34

Actually it's about oh , love that . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah so you know , I think , think for listeners ,

Longevity Through Movement and Mindset

Speaker 1 12:41

whatever stage of life you're in , whether you're a youth or you are simply connected to feeling youthful . Youthfulness is something that can bring us energy , can give us a sense of playfulness , openness and maybe feeling connected to who we are .