When East Meets West
When East Meets West
S4E19 Stress-Free Tips for a Fulfilling Holiday Season
Feeling overwhelmed by holiday chaos and the pressure to be perfect? Let’s explore a refreshing perspective on how embracing imperfections can actually lead to a more fulfilling holiday season. As we gather around festive tables and navigate family dynamics, we discuss the importance of lowering expectations to reduce stress and invite authenticity. Whether you're working through the holidays or just trying to make it through without losing your cool, we’re here to share our personal insights and stories on maintaining your sense of self amidst the chaos.
We’ve all been there—holiday gatherings that leave us feeling overstimulated and drained. This episode is packed with practical tips for creating moments of solitude, managing mindful eating, and maintaining physical activity when it feels like there’s no time. We also acknowledge the unique challenges faced by those dealing with eating disorders, offering compassionate advice on how to navigate food-centric festivities with grace. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about staying true to yourself and your values, even when the season seems to demand otherwise.
As we wrap up, we reflect on the slower pace that the holiday season can offer if we choose to embrace it. From setting boundaries at family gatherings to finding joy in unexpected places—like the antics of a beloved elderly dog—we discuss ways to prioritize self-care and gratitude. Whether the holidays are a time of rest or just another day on the calendar for you, we’re here to remind you that it’s okay to cherish or simply survive them, and that meaningful moments aren’t confined to any specific date. Join us as we look forward to exciting changes in the new year, bringing optimism and heartfelt reflections to the table.
I have got nothing good for our introduction other than we're going to talk about self-care, holiday survival and much more today.
Speaker 2:I don't think you need a snazzy intro, I think. Look, I think it's nice for listeners to say, oh, there can be days where Pete is not prepared. I don't have to be prepared all the time.
Speaker 1:Pretty much every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they don't know that. They, you seem very you're more prepared than me for our podcasting. Pete's the more prepared one with. I tend to be over prepared for other things, but I just roll up well, now you do.
Speaker 1:You know, when we first started, you wanted like this, like a script, or like oh right, I was very well, I very anxious, I was very anxious about it and now look how times have changed. You guys all know it's a mindfulness and it's helpful.
Speaker 2:So very helpful.
Speaker 1:It's very helpful. How many times this week did you and I send like the melting emoji to one another? Just a couple.
Speaker 2:Just a couple, a lot, that's well, in fairness, that is my favorite. That is my favorite emoji. I think he he works in every he works as a response for literally everything.
Speaker 1:Try it.
Speaker 2:Mine's the hugging one with the hands oh, that's good too, but that doesn't work on the face okay, mine's try the melty guy for everything he works and is a response for everything that's my that's my take. So including holiday survival. So if we were like oh, holidays, melty face guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah, Holiday survival. So um what's like your top two tips for surviving the holidays?
Speaker 2:Oh man, I went two because I know that with the melting emoji. I've usually done three, but I you know, I gotta say I think that, in general, the biggest thing that people need to keep in mind when it comes to surviving the holidays is um turn the dial down on expectation.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that.
Speaker 2:Honestly because I think that that's where a lot of the energy and emotion gets amped up is that they these expectations around it being it's like everybody's coming together. It has to be perfect, it has to be amazing, it has to be connected and obviously, unfortunately, like we're getting like bombarded with those stories, holiday movies on TV you know all of the commercialism and the advertisements that we get, and so people expect this like perfect, beautiful experience. And I'm not saying you can't have wonderfully connected, beautiful times over the holidays. However, even if you do have those times, if you go in expecting it has to go a certain way. Inevitably, when you get annoyed at your parents or whatever, you burn the turkey or whatever it is, it's like you're it's going to crash things. So I think, honestly, the biggest survival tip I have for people is like start by coping ahead that it's not going to be perfect.
Speaker 1:Turn down the expectations.
Speaker 2:Turn down that dial.
Speaker 1:She even gave you a wink too.
Speaker 2:I winked and mimed turning down a dial, so two, it's a two for one.
Speaker 1:That's a good one. So we'll, we'll alternate. So I will say your turn, you go.
Speaker 2:You're like no, no, I want to share it too.
Speaker 1:We'll Wally and pass Um okay Sounds good, I'll say everything is like mindfulness and so maybe that's like not the right answer, Um, but align with the expectations. You know what are your values. Last episode we talked about routines, and so maybe if you're feeling any kind of certain way, it might be because something just got disrupted. Yeah, you envisioned and it aligns with your expectations. But just tune into your values and don't wait for this new year to have to like do that? I? Really? That bothers me.
Speaker 2:It bothers me too. Thank you for saying that, because I think, um, again, there's that. Look, we can't judge the human brain right. It's what it does. Like we like neat. And it's like, oh, I'm going to wait till January 1st and then things will change. And it's like that's a lot of pressure, you know. And it's like or or you could start to like, you know, and it's like, or or you could start to like, you know, slowly implement changes now, if that's helpful. Like there's no, there's no magic. Like when the you know it's not Cinderella, it's not like the the you know it was a stroke of midnight.
Speaker 2:you know things change it's it's like we can start now. So yeah, I so agree with that. Thank you for saying that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I used. I used to always work on New Year's Eve as a bartender and I always enjoyed.
Speaker 2:I thought you meant, I thought you were talking about it.
Speaker 1:I was like why are you taking call? I thought you were talking about it as a psychologist. One of the other lives before the psychologist.
Speaker 2:Yes, he'd had a lot of lives. For those You're not, maybe one day we'll do an episode on all the lives that you had you had. I always, I always tell Pete he's the, he's the most interesting man in the world, Like the Joe Seki's guy. You know, I know a lot of people. You know that I know a lot.
Speaker 1:I know you do actually a lot, that's why I'm like?
Speaker 2:because I was like a lot of interesting people?
Speaker 1:I'm not that interesting.
Speaker 2:No, you're super. Anyway, that's a whole. That's another episode. But he is. That's yes, but in one of your previous lives, when you were a bartender and you work.
Speaker 1:I used to like to work on your Z because, yeah, same reason Like I. I mean you know it's cool and at this, point.
Speaker 2:Now I, I can't even really stay up till midnight.
Speaker 1:No, it's very late.
Speaker 2:I know, okay, holidays, yeah. So second, second tip okay, so I would. This is. This is one actually I use with people, like whenever there's like a lot of um, there's going to be a lot of time around, a lot of people, so like a lot of stimulation, so bonus. Like I use this with my folks that are more introverted, just in general, but then even my more extroverted folks I'm like okay, but even you're going to need to use this, take little tiny windows to get space for yourself.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:So, like we, when there's it's a lot like it's can be very overstimulating the holidays, right, it's like you could be in somebody else's home. You could be cooking a lot, you could be dealing with a lot of kids, you either there's like it's money stress, like there's so many things that, depending on where you live, maybe it money stress, like there's so many things, depending on where you live, maybe it's bad weather, I don't, you know, not here. But yeah, sorry, yeah, yeah, not LA. So but take little bits of space and and I always recommend like really little things I'll say go excuse yourself for the restroom. I'm like the beauty of going into the restroom is no one's going to bother you in there. I was like you don't have to use the restroom, just literally go close the door and sit in there for three minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Wash some water on your face, take some deep breaths, get some space, and everyone's always like oh yeah, I guess I can do that, that's right, can you go walk around the block for five minutes or 10 minutes? So I always say the small things add up. And again, when we're being like really overstimulated, I think the tendency is to try to look for like I just want to get away, I need something big. I'm like no, build in small bits of space for yourself and that will you know, it'll keep some gas in the tank to get through some gas in the tank and it's a premium If if we're talking about Nick, you over there.
Speaker 1:I just got a new car. I don't have to do premium anymore. That's what I'm thinking about.
Speaker 2:I dream of an electric car, but yeah, no, I do have to do premium but yeah, well, I like the hybrid actually, so it's part apart. Yeah, that's cool Middle path.
Speaker 1:Middle path, that's nice.
Speaker 2:Okay, Let me volley back to you so what I was going to say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're volleying volleyball. Um, I was going to say um, don't overeat, but I'll say that in like a more mindful like eat mindfully.
Speaker 1:So uh if you are, you know, any kind of restrictions or dieting moderation is really helpful and so many of us will overeat on the holidays because there's just a lot of food around, um, and so try and just do so. You know, eat in a way that's mindful, where you you want to um, indulge, uh, but you don't want to be like so full that you're so sick. And you know it really could take as you get older. It could take a long time, cause I'm sort of thinking of the wellbeing piece of the holidays. Like try to exercise a little bit, even if it's just like a 15 minute stretch, you know it doesn't have to be sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, just take care of your body during this time too.
Speaker 2:Well, and I, yes, and I think maybe just it's important to say too, because I I imagine there's some listeners like, if they struggle with eating issues, like maybe, on the other end, if they've struggled with an eating disorder, or maybe they struggle with um, they've struggled with restricting or binging and purging I think we would also want to say like, make sure that there's room for you to, first of all, have support around that, right, with food, like what's you know, hopefully working with the therapist that's helping you through that Um, and I think it's also important to make room to say like it's also okay to eat things that you don't usually eat, or if you do eat more than you usually do, or something like that, that's okay too. So, which still is part of mindfulness, right, we're saying like there's not, there's not just one way to to do things here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, and, and it's, it's well and for you know, for us. That's why it's funny People will bother us in the bathroom. As one of three boys, there's no peace when you go in the bathroom.
Speaker 2:You can lock the door is what I'm saying but you can you know? That's where I'm at, hopefully, yeah, I'm saying like there's even if it's one minute 60 seconds.
Speaker 1:We would just you know, sit around and eat and get in that food coma, you know which?
Speaker 2:is yes.
Speaker 1:I like that you brought up the eating disorder piece because, yeah, for those that are struggling with body dysmorphia or eating disorders, this could really bring up and kind of be triggering.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Because there's, like you know, everything's around Lots of sweets and pies. Yes, yes, because there's like you know everything's around, lots of sweets and pies and yes, yes, definitely better in new york, but anyway, we agreed to disagree on that, but, um, I feel like we should do.
Speaker 2:I think we need to do one more tip. You started by saying we should. You want to do three, but then you we just said four, but you were meeting. I was thinking three each each, but you moved from the table.
Speaker 1:You got another one, let's do it, let's go.
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:I know we're on the fly here. What's coming up for you? What's your third tip for the holiday survival?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's focus on what's important to you. So we also talked about this in a recent episode, about you know, like there can be stories around like what we're supposed to value, cause you and I were talking about like I was like I'm not. I'm not that I was like I'm not that traditional about a lot of things, like it's not that I don't have any traditions, but I I just don't. I'm not as wedded to certain things as other people are. So the holidays maybe they might be really important to you.
Speaker 2:You know, you might be somebody that's like this is really meaningful to me, it's really tied to my values, and so if that's the case, I would say I want you to be really mindful and really connect and experience that. And then if you're somebody who's like I don't really like the holidays actually I really don't like this time of year, but I should like it I want you to let go of the shoulds and say it's okay not to like it. Maybe you show up to the family events because family is important to you, or you want to show up for your partner or whatnot, but you don't have to like them. You could just be wanting to like get, get over, get through it and get to January, and if that's the case, be mindful in allowing yourself to have that feeling too. So that's my, that's my final tip.
Speaker 1:I love that, because you don't you know where are you rushing to. You know that's like Jon Kabat-Zinn wherever you go there, you are Just kind of slow down. Lastly, I'll just say for me today, wherever you're listening to, this, could be a holiday.
Speaker 2:You don't have to wait for the actual day, so we talked about New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1:We talked about that. You know whether it's, you know um, you know, whatever you're celebrating, whatever the day is, think about that. When it comes to like another, you know moment in time, whether that's in a month or something like that, like uh, you know, like February or or things of that nature. That would be a really um, you don't have to wait, you know, I wait. You know that's the whole thing of mindfulness be in this present moment and we're not guaranteed tomorrow. It's so funny. So I actually had a different one, but I lost it because it's really late as we're recording. So I just came up with another one too. Just wanted to put that out there.
Speaker 2:I really liked what you. I don't know what the original one is It'll come back to you probably when we, when we end this recording but uh, I really like that one. Yes, it's like the the day. The day isn't what makes it like, the date isn't what makes it special. We can give dates meaning like there's nothing again, to not we don't want to minimize like we can give dates meaning and they dates. Lots of dates have meaning for all of us and you know it. We don't have to wait for that date to make something special. I totally agree with that. Well, in the spirit of that, we already agreed.
Speaker 1:You know we're going to we're going to be taking our own holiday break right, yes, yeah, so this will be one of our last recording. Actually, no, this will be no, it is, that's what I'm saying, so of 2024, right, but again, you know my grandiosity.
Speaker 2:I imagine someone's listening to this 15 years in the future. It'll be long, It'll be long lost by then, but yes our last recording.
Speaker 1:I wonder what we'll be in 15 years.
Speaker 2:You know yeah, I don't know. I think everybody will.
Speaker 1:Now they're thin, you know, like what's a lot could happen.
Speaker 2:I don't know what could happen.
Speaker 1:What are you going to do? Self care, wise Right. So 2024,? Um, thank you, nikki. Uh, four years that I have dragged you. Uh, kicking and screaming at time.
Speaker 2:Four and a half actually.
Speaker 1:My head. I thought it was like 2020.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so, yes, well, thank you, well, thank you for dragging me. Continue to drag me. Well, look, it's like I think it'll be good to have the break. I hope our listeners also like take the time to slow down, and then we will be back in 2025 with also some exciting changes.
Speaker 1:Lots of changes.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Lots of exciting sort of format stuff and yes we are coming at you in 2025. But self-care like so for me? I know that I'm, you know, one of the things that my family kind of gets annoyed with me is, even with the holidays, kind of linking that together.
Speaker 2:Oh I remember before we ended.
Speaker 1:My tip was going to be that there should be a beginning and an end to whatever the like the family gatherings are, so for me, when my family's coming over, the joke is always that there's a an end. There's a start and an end time nice yep yep, you like you like a boundary on it.
Speaker 2:uh-huh, yeah, I feel that that I love a little boundary.
Speaker 1:So you know, for me sometimes with the holidays like it's just a day off too you know yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's a day that you know some clients will actually not reach out to you or you get some nice messages of like I'm so thankful for work, but so using that as an opportunity to also recharge my batteries, you know, so that I'm not so I'll definitely kind of disconnect, kind of leave my phone at home when I go out, maybe shopping, you know, definitely get a couple massages and get away, and you know there's little little things like that. What about you? What's going to be in your sort of self-care repertoire?
Speaker 2:Honestly, what I'm just sharing, actually the ones I was saying, are the ones that I practice. I just got back from a vacation, so I just, you know, I will be working through the holidays but I will have the days off that are, you know, like Christmas and New Year's Day, but I think the tightest time of year is just, people tend to slow down and some people are away and my schedule is a little different, and so, yeah, I just like to take advantage of slowing down and resting a little bit when I can and um, but, but, honestly, those, those ones that I was sharing, like those aren't, you know, it wasn't just pulling them out of the ether. There are things that I I actually practice very, uh, actively and intentionally myself.
Speaker 1:We all need them. So thank you for sharing those gems and get a little doggy care and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:You know that we love to have too.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, doggy time. Take them on a nice long walk. And we keep, we keep joking at my house because that's how we're handling um loss. But we're wondering when the oldest dog, if she's going to make it to all these uh milestones, because for listeners she was given three to six months to live almost two years ago at this point. So she just she's eating better than she's ever eaten, she's a little demented and she's kind of running around outside a little fun crazy way.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So we're wondering in that way hopefully she's going to.
Speaker 2:yeah, she got a little more time here.
Speaker 1:She's got some more time, so we're going to enjoy that time and disconnect and all that good stuff. So, nikki, I am we're going to sign off, we're going to sign off. Peace out 2024. What do you?
Speaker 2:say, I say, I say, let's you know, peace out you can.
